Print Story San Jose Under Seige: Day Three

When people like Alan Dean Foster are out roaming your streets, you keeps your ass inside. What choice do you have? You don't want to end up catching whatever it is he has.



So that's what I did

I watched two movies, "Idiocracy", and "Stranger than Fiction". I'll give then both moderate thumbs up, with slight favor to Idiocracy. It seems a pretty plausible future scenario to me. As for "Stranger than Fiction", fucking happy endings. More tragedy, less comedy. Tragedy is comedy, eventually, anyway.

I'm thinking about popping "My Life As A Dog" in, as I've been sitting on my Netflix copy for four months or so, but it's getting late, so I probably won't. I also reviewed some Bay Area bathrooms. Then I got bored with that, and moved on. I decided to ROCK THE FUCK OUT. And so I did.

"You and your friend, at the Coldstone": my entry to 606's craigslist challenge. I don't see where else I should be uploading it at the moment, so thar she be.

It is based on the following text from PostingID 327966756:

you and your friend at cold stone drove around the parking lot 5 times - m4w (cupertino)

Reply to: pers-327966756@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-09, 10:25PM PDT


hi. you were with your friend at cold stone tonight around 830pm at the oaks. you were wearing a white skirt. you two kept driving around the parking lot and i kept looking at you every time. whats your name?






• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 327966756

And no, that person posting the ad isn't me. Or any of my scripts. But I thought about it, believe me. Anyway, that's it. It's a typical tale of woe, "boy meets girl, boy sees girl in parking lot circle five times, boy posts vague message on community website in hopes of getting lucky, boy gets appropriated into random internet weirdo's art project". You've seen it once, you've seen it a thousand times. But it spoke to me.

Not content with the rockitude levels at home, I also eeked out "segfault", which may or may not become something else entirely by the end of next week. We shall see. We shall see.

At some point, I went out and got dinner. OH WAIT, I FORGOT TO DO THAT! Oh well, tomorrow, I'll treat myself to Foster Freeze. I think I've earned it, damnit.

On the plus side, my nifty new coatrack wall thing is up, my natural light reading lamp is up and plugged into the correct outlet, the crazy, calico kitten curtains that came with the apartment are down, and hidden, and my blue velvet replacements are up and successfully teaming up with the blinds to keep the daystar from penetrating my den of iniquity, yo. Oh yeah, I'm some sort of handyman genius. Next, I'll turn my attention to the deck; I'm thinking astroturf and fake pine trees to simulate North Carolina. Or maybe a chair. EIther/or. Maybe an outdoor model train set? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH TAPPY TAPPY, MY BLUETOOTH KEYBOARD, SPAZZING OUT ALL OF A SUDDENT WHNT I TYTTPE AND TYPING DIFFERENT CHARACTERS THAN WHAT I KNOW I AM DEFINITELY HITTING BECAUSE I'M TYPING REALLY SLOWLY TO BE SURE???

Oh, turns out wireless means "eats batteries often". My bad. I thought it meant "wireless". Much to learn, have I.

And on that note, guess who's gonna have a smoke, then step outside ahd have a smoke?

Full discussion: http://www.hulver.com/scoop/story/2007/5/29/21513/6767