Touched His Junk, Liberally.
Babba babba Lala Daah Daah Daah You know what's cool about companies that don't do pee-testing? The fact that when you work for them, you can pee in the friggin' toilet, like Baby Jebus made us to do, rather than in a cup, where you end up getting pee on your own hand, which, while it's your pee and therefore not as traumatic as having other people's pee on your hand (unless you're R. Kelly, of course, but that would have gone without saying had I not just said it), it's still used up blood. There's not much cool about used up blood on your hands. It's actually warm. And if you have it on your hands, you should actually wash them. Twice. Go now, do it. That's gross, dude. I have been a lamer lame duck than I am now At least in the sense that, for a company I am leaving in 6 work days, here I am in the office, upgrading a server and installing THE NEW HOTNESS as far as backup solutions goes. WTF? I'm actually enjoying it, too. I think because for once, it doesn't matter if this shit works or not; six days, and it'll be someone else's problem. I'll have brand new problems of my own to deal with. My Mom Rules She's a whole lot more awesome than any of your moms. You may not agree, but that's just because you're wrong, and aren't familiar with the awesomeness of my Mom. And to tell the truth, that's your problem. Fact: MY MOM RULES. Status of Packing Well, all my books are boxed. And my videogames. And DVDs and shit. And I bought these two gigantor wheeled duffel bags. Wheels! On Duffel Bags! WHO KNEW? I seriously have been missing out by not using wheeled luggage for years. Hello, MIDDLE-AGE! Also, my computers are all gone. What remains of my collection is as follows:
And that's it. Well, that's the archaic part, at least. There's also the G4 tower server, currently serving up port 80 from a friends' house, enabling me to move cross-country and not have to worry about downtime. AWESOME! Friday Night is ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTIN! But you can expect to spend Saturday in a friggin' coma. I went with ${coworker-friend} and ${former-coworker-still-friend} to the Hibernian on Freitag, where I drank 5 Guinness and ate a sheep-pie. They then both went home to their wives, but seeing as how I keep it real, I kept it real by rolling on down to the Red Room (the "tapas" place formerly known as "some other place that is the only place that serves Fernet Branca in Raleigh), only to be informed by the bouncer dude that I couldn't come in because I had running shoes on. I then flexed my economic muscle by giving him twenty dollars as my rebuttal, and I was then sitting at the bar, downing 4 double Fernets in a row. Still awake and walking, I decided I should go to Jackpot, half-hoping I'd run into my former barista, but no such luck. Instead, I ran into an endless stream of rum and Cokes. Then it was pancake time. Because, you know, the fucking IHOP is next door. Who could resist? Not me! So I didn't. And then apparently I fell asleep at the table. At least that's what the two uniformed gentlemen were telling me when they asked me to leave. What kind of a world do we live in when a man can't take a nap in a restaurant? I WAS TIRED, BITCHES! FUCKING NAZIS! Saturday, I slept til about 8. In the evening. Today, though? Today I'm all SUNSHINE AND LOADS OF WORDY JISM! Easiest. DNS. Setup. Evar. 'Cause I just copied the config directory, and it just worked. God Bless Apple. Two Thoughts on the Hurricane-Ravaged Interior of my Apartment Thought One: You know, I only have a 100.00 deposit. It's tempting to just leave all that shit, and say goodbye to the hundred dollars that I haven't had in my pocket in four years, anyway. It's not like I'm getting any of that back, anyway, I should go ahead and get my money's worth. Maybe make some poops in the living room. Who knows? Thought Two: Renters Insurance would be profitable if only there'd be a big-assed house fire. Apparently, though, I can't wish for that too much, as the NAZIS in the GOVERNMENT have SEEN FIT TO MAKE A LAW TO DETER ME FROM SETTING MY STUFF ON FIRE. Goddamn Nazis. BUSHITLAR! Fuck it, I'm done here. Time to go home. Oh yeah, I also made a lot of poops yesterday. And even a sizeable chunk today, at the REI bathroom. +1, Immaculate!
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